We’re Here, We’re Queer – Julie’s Story

 

Folks. I’m SUPER excited to being you this month’s edition of We’re Here, We’re Queer! I met Julie AnnMarie on Instagram last year and she has been a shining light of love + positivity + hilarity for me ever since. (Plus she says ‘wicked’ like a real New Englander despite living her whole life in Florida so – bonus points there!) I think her story is a testament to how much good we can do by just talking about our recovery – you never know who you’re going to reach or who’s life you could change.

I’m so grateful that she agreed to take time out of her life to put this little piece together.

 

Hi!

I’m Julie.

I’m 28, identify as lesbian, live in Florida, and I just celebrated my one year soberversary on March 10th of this year. It’s weird to say that and still trips me out to think back on the past year and how much has changed. (more…)

Continue Reading

I’m a sober atheist

In very general terms, the queer community as a whole has a historically contentious relationship with God and religion.

Anti-LGBTQ sentiments run deep in a lot of organized religions that culminate in perceived immorality, persecution and, even legislation fueled by the anti-queer beliefs of religion continue to affect us all.

Still.

In 2018.

I’d say I’m about 80% atheist and 20% agnostic. I discovered that religion and God weren’t my cup of tea when I was in 6th grade. (more…)

Continue Reading

We’re Here, We’re Queer – Shayna’s Story

This month is the first installment of a new series I’m doing called We’re Here, We’re Queer! The series will be a way for me to spotlight a different queer or trans member of the recovery community on the 15th of each month by giving them a space to tell their own recovery story. The stories can and will be a mix of mediums: writing, photography, visual art, poetry, etc. Some will be anonymous, some will not. Some will be a “work in progress” as people are working their way to/through recovery and some will be from people who have been in recovery for years. There will be one common thread – they are all part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

I am really excited to share this first contribution to We’re Here, We’re Queer! I feel so lucky to be able to share Shayna’s story of both her journey to sobriety and accepting her sexuality. I could probably write an entire post about how much I love her story but, I think I’ll just let you read it for yourself:

 

(more…)

Continue Reading

Not Hiding

Content Warning: while not particularly descriptive or detailed, this piece does mention self mutilation so, if you’re extra sensitive to that topic, this may not be the read for you. 

I don’t remember exactly when the first time was that I cut myself, I just remember that I was in 7th or 8th grade. All of my journals from that time in my life are in my dad’s basement, 3000 miles away in New Hampshire so, I’m having to go on memory here. Please, bear with me as I work to recall the details (more…)

Continue Reading

Whiteness

It’s February and almost Valentine’s Day so, I’ve been trying to write about love but, something about it just kept feeling…. off.

The thing is, I’ve have been reading a lot about whiteness lately and I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated and angry with it. Now, when I say whiteness, I don’t mean actual people with light skin (though we are the ones who benefit from whiteness.) I mean the social construct that prioritizes white features, people, behaviors, history and, attitudes over those of indigenous people and people of other races. (info here) (more…)

Continue Reading

Coming Out

The first time I came out I was 16 years old. It was the summer before my Junior year of High School and I was in my bedroom with my friend, Kim. We were writing in a notebook, passing it back and forth (because that’s how we did things in 1997.) There was tension in the air. We both had something important to tell the other one and, as it turns out, we had the SAME thing to tell each other. After countless back and forth statements of uncertainty, I’m not sure which one of us took the leap and wrote it first but one of us finally declared “I’m bisexual” in writing for the other to see. The other immediately replied “me too.” This double revelation blew open our friendship and we were soon each other’s girlfriend. Not knowing how our families or general community would react, we kept (more…)

Continue Reading

The Evolution of my Life

On January 28th, 2016 I woke up and knew I had had enough. I couldn’t continue the cycle of drinking and not drinking and thinking about drinking and drinking too much and being hungover, anymore. I was in Hawaii on a last minute vacation, by myself.

The details of the events that brought me to the moment where I woke up in Hawaii, ready to quit drinking, are a bit tedious and hard to follow so, I’ll try to keep it as simple and clear as possible. You see, I had booked this last minute Hawaiian getaway just 5 days ahead of time. It was a weak attempt at my own version of Forgetting Sarah Marshall (you know, the movie where Jason Segal goes to Hawaii to get over Kristen Bell!?), though I definitely wasn’t expecting to meet Mila Kunis on this long weekend.  A friend and I had become intensely close over the prior few months. There was texting and talking and laughter and support and, eventually, a drunken hook up.  Did I mention she was married? To a man? Yeah. When her husband found out, our friendship exploded. What followed was a messy few months. (more…)

Continue Reading

Telling a Secret

I didn’t go to College.

There. I said it.

Not that this is the biggest secret in the world but, it is something that I’ve felt increasingly anxious about people finding out over the past few years. You see, the people I know and interact with on a regular basis are often VERY educated and super smart. I always have this fear that they’ll find out that I don’t have any degree at all, never mind the multiple degrees a lot of them have, and decide that I’m not smart enough to hang out with. Or smart enough to work with. Or smart enough to exist in their world. (more…)

Continue Reading

Tomboy

Yesterday I saw/heard two interviews with Lena Waithe. For those of you who don’t know who she is, she recently was the first black woman to win a comedy writing Emmy for co-writing the Thanksgiving episode in season 2 of Mater of None. Her new series, The Chi, just debuted on Showtime so she’s been doing the interview circuit.

I am 37 years old and I came out almost 21 years ago. I have seen things change drastically in that time, including myself. Coming out before the age of the internet meant that I had to find all of my gay stuff in bookstores and video stores. Seeing women who looked like me in media was a rare treat, and it only ever really happened in movies I rented. Growing up my film and TV role models were Vada Sultenfuss from My Girl, Jo on the Facts of Life, Valerie Bertinelli’s character on One Day At A Time and, Alex Mack on The Secret World of Alex Mack. The thing is, as each of these characters grow up, they also grow out of their tomboyish-ness. (more…)

Continue Reading

Slow Burn

It’s noon and I just got out of bed. I wasn’t sleeping that whole time — it’s just that it’s raining out and I love the sound of rain more than almost anything so, I stayed in bed to listen to it.

I’m a slow burn. It takes me a long time go get things done. My friendships build slowly, the tasks I do have lots of breaks built in, it can take me so long to realize I like someone romantically that they have often already moved on to friend mode by the time my light bulb goes on. Acting quickly, when it relates to myself, is something I’ve never been keen on. Rapid fire questions can give me an anxiety attack, I like to get to events early so they can fill in around me, I love my fucking couch. I’m afraid. Of what, you ask? Well, pretty much everything. (more…)

Continue Reading
Close Menu