Coming Out

The first time I came out I was 16 years old. It was the summer before my Junior year of High School and I was in my bedroom with my friend, Kim. We were writing in a notebook, passing it back and forth (because that’s how we did things in 1997.) There was tension in the air. We both had something important to tell the other one and, as it turns out, we had the SAME thing to tell each other. After countless back and forth statements of uncertainty, I’m not sure which one of us took the leap and wrote it first but one of us finally declared “I’m bisexual” in writing for the other to see. The other immediately replied “me too.” This double revelation blew open our friendship and we were soon each other’s girlfriend. Not knowing how our families or general community would react, we kept (more…)

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Tomboy

Yesterday I saw/heard two interviews with Lena Waithe. For those of you who don’t know who she is, she recently was the first black woman to win a comedy writing Emmy for co-writing the Thanksgiving episode in season 2 of Mater of None. Her new series, The Chi, just debuted on Showtime so she’s been doing the interview circuit.

I am 37 years old and I came out almost 21 years ago. I have seen things change drastically in that time, including myself. Coming out before the age of the internet meant that I had to find all of my gay stuff in bookstores and video stores. Seeing women who looked like me in media was a rare treat, and it only ever really happened in movies I rented. Growing up my film and TV role models were Vada Sultenfuss from My Girl, Jo on the Facts of Life, Valerie Bertinelli’s character on One Day At A Time and, Alex Mack on The Secret World of Alex Mack. The thing is, as each of these characters grow up, they also grow out of their tomboyish-ness. (more…)

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