Queer (and Sober) in the Time of COVID-19

Queer (and Sober) in the Time of COVID-19

I have a feeling that a lot of people right now are thinking that, by staying away from other people, they’re simply accepting the situation they’re in and letting things unfurl as they may.

My take on social distancing is that this is us taking action to make change. By staying at home, away from other people, each of us is making the conscious decision to change the possible outcome of the COVID-19 pandemic.

This is not people being hopeless or passive, this is people being hopeful and taking the boldest action possible.

Additionally, human beings have a real need for connection so social distancing is not only bold action, but it involves a level of sacrifice that and empathy for other humans that fills me with love.

And. Thanks to the internet, we do still have the opportunity to stay connected with folks within our communities. 

Being connected can be extra important for folks who are queer and sober. Since I have a few things that I do regularly for sober queer folks, I thought it would be good to put them all in one blog post in order to make it easier for people to access the level of connection that works best for them:


Stay connected face to face


In early 2019 I sent out a survey to LGBTQIA+ and questioning folks who were sober, in any kind or recovery or working on recovery to find out what kind of resources were lacking. One of the most common answers was a space where they could talk about their sobriety without being the one queer or trans person in the room.

So, in April of 2019 I started LGBTteetotalers Face to Face. For the past 11 months we’ve been having weekly calls on Monday nights where we just get to hang out and talk about anything that comes up. These are not recovery meetings, rather they’re a space for us to get together and socialize with folks who understand our experiences.

While we are all under social distancing measures, I’ve added three additional calls per week for queer, trans, and questioning folks who are sober, sober curious, or in any kind of recovery. (Note: you do not have to have any accumulated sobriety time in order to join these calls, but please make sure you are not under the influence when you join.)

You can find more details here if you’re interested.


Stay connected through social media


Maybe talking with people on a video chat isn’t your thing. THAT’S FINE!

We also have a secret Facebook group for folks who are queer, trans or questioning and sober, sober curious, or in any kind of recovery.

As I’m writing this, the group is small — about 200 people — so activity ebbs and flows as people feel the need to connect. But, this is a great place to talk about anything recovery or LGBTQIA+ related. To get support. To have a group of 200+ cheerleaders. To post articles or videos or links to entertain others.

If you’re interested in the Facebook group, go here to get added.


Stay connected through email


If you were a fan of my Holigays Toolkit, you won’t want to miss this!

Starting this Wednesday, I’ll be sending out a weekly love letter for folks to my mailing list. These love letters will include content about sexuality, gender, and sobriety. 

I’ll be sure to include exercises to use in order maintain sobriety while feeling like everything is out of our control, suggestions for LGBTQIA+ entertainment, maybe a little bit of art, and my highly entertaining storytelling/writing. The possibilities are endless!!

If you aren’t on my mailing list and want to be, sign up here

If you have content suggestions for the love letters, shoot me an email at info@lgbtteetotaler.com 


Stay connected through Q&As


Every other weekend I do Q&As on my Instagram story for folks who have questions about… anything.

Most of the questions are about sobriety, gender and sexual identity but I’d love to talk about the kinds of things we can do while we’re spending more time alone and at home.


This is it for now.

Please share this with people or communities who may benefit from anything that I’m doing. We’re all in this together and I know that we can get through this.

No matter how brutal the winter is, spring always comes. 

I love you. 

You’re valid. 


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