Folks. I’m SUPER excited to being you this month’s edition of We’re Here, We’re Queer! I met Julie AnnMarie on Instagram last year and she has been a shining light of love + positivity + hilarity for me ever since. (Plus she says ‘wicked’ like a real New Englander despite living her whole life in Florida so – bonus points there!) I think her story is a testament to how much good we can do by just talking about our recovery – you never know who you’re going to reach or who’s life you could change.
I’m so grateful that she agreed to take time out of her life to put this little piece together.
I’m 28, identify as lesbian, live in Florida, and I just celebrated my one year soberversary on March 10th of this year. It’s weird to say that and still trips me out to think back on the past year and how much has changed.
I say all the time that I would be dead by now, had I not chosen to get sober. At my lowest being dead seemed like a total upgrade from where I was, both physically and mentally. I was in a very codependent, abusive relationship with someone that controlled everything I did from what I ate to what drugs I put into my body that day. Giving that much of yourself away to someone (especially if it’s because you’re an addict and dependent on them) takes a toll on your self-worth very quickly.
It seems like a different life looking back and reflecting on it. And if we’re being honest most of it probably doesn’t need to be looked back on again because we move forward and try to heal and do our best and life goes on.
But I do, very often, go back to the one day that finally changed it all. The day I was so down and out, dope sick, laying on the couch alone after just having had a fight with my now ex. I was sobbing and furious and couldn’t even move without being in pain from being sick. I was done. Like by every definition of the word, I was done.
Then for some reason, be it divine intervention or just good timing, I heard a woman on TV talk about how she used to be a drug addict but that she wasn’t a drug addict anymore. That she had gotten clean, years ago. She was so pretty, and so funny and in the smallest way reminded me of who I was/who I wanted to be before I ever became an addict. And that was like, the ah-ha moment. If she could do it, if she could stop using, pick herself up, get her life together and make a name for herself, maybe I could, too. And that was that.
Hearing an ex addict talk about their recovery is the one and only reason I decided to get clean.
And I am forever thankful for her, and anyone who speaks about addiction and how they overcame it. Beyond thankful. HELLA THANKFUL.
Anyway, that’s my recovery story in a nutshell. And this past year of practicing sobriety has been wonderful. I finish school in June and leave for California right after. All of these things I never thought I would live to be able to do, they’re just kind of happening. Each new day is just one little adventure after another and I really don’t have words for how amazing it is to experience it all.
Julie AnnMarie is from Florida. Once she is done with culinary school, she’s embarking on an adventure west to California. Follow her on Instagram to keep up with her adventures in life, selfies, memes and, quotes: @julieeannmariee