I had my last drink on January 27th, 2016. I was on vacation, alone, in Hawaii. That next morning I was done with it. It was an interesting vacation after that, crying on the beach every day. This decision came after at least two years of agonizing and thinking and justifying my relationship with alcohol. This came after years of using, first, self-mutilation (cutting) and eventually alcohol to help me deal with feelings. I was 35 years old and I was about to learn how to really be a human for the first time.
As I began finding my path and my people in the recovery space, things got easier. I was able to deal with how I felt as it was happening. I was able to hold my boundaries and take care of myself. There was one thing missing for me though, the stories of other queer people. (more…)